Well you know, I figured since I have this journal and all on this writing account, I could use it to write reviews and tell everyone what they should and shouldn't bother reading. Some books are really boring, you know? I wouldn't want you wasting time reading a book you probably wouldn't like. I'm doing you a favor here. Otherwise, what a waste of time. I swear I waste too much time doing things like this.

Anyway, so I read the Catcher and the Rye and all. It's a real classic. People go on about it a lot, especially english teachers. English teachers always go on about books no one's ever actually read before. Just cause they're classics, they bet just everyone's read 'em before, as if we had nothing better to do with our boring lives. But I guess they don't really think everyone's read 'em if they assign them in class. So they just want to make sure everyone's read 'em before they're fired or old and wrinkly. I had this teacher named Mrs. Tilley. Now she was one of those phony english teachers you never want to get. She had that look as if she had the whole stupid class under her control but she actually didnt. They were always horsing around. It drove me crazy. And then she always assigned homework after we finished reading something, like Romeo and Juliet or some crazy short story by some phony author. She'd assign all these questions at the end of the story. Man that just grated on me. You know, it really did. At least this teacher doesn't assign stupid questions. We just write essays and have to read classics or other award winning books and things like that that english teachers are just wild about. So she had us read Catcher in the Rye. I read it in two stupid days. I swear I'm crazy. I really do. I read it in two days and about two days passed in the book. I don't actually know how many days, but I think it was two days in the book. Man, I never read a book so full of phonies in my life. I almost could have puked. Well, that Holden guy wasn't so bad. At least he said what he thought instead of putting on a stupid smile and saying what a great person everyone was all the time. I hate it when people do that. You never know what they're really thinking about you. They're all probably laughing at the big tree of broccoli in your teeth that you can't see. And then you're laughing cause they have one too, only you're laughing in their face instead. I bet they feel like a real moron then, but I guess I do too. Anyway, the Holden guy wasn't so bad. He spent the whole stupid two days of the book in New York staying at these hotels you never wanna go to, and going to all these bars although he was underage and all. What a cheat. I can't stand guys like that. He smoked all the time too. He must have smoked three packs in those two days. And he was only 16. Anyway, the Holden guy just basically wanders around New York the whole time, asking phony taxi drivers where the ducks go in the winter. They obviously go south, you moron. What moron doesnt know where ducks go in the winter? This guy was such a moron. But at least he wasn't a phony. I hate phonies. So the Holden kid is basically telling his life story or something like that. I skipped a bunch cause I didnt really give a crap. I pretty much just read the dialogue. I read enough so that I could do good on that essay we had to write in class today. I think I did good. I always do. I get the highest grade in the class a lot of the time. I really do.




And if you couldn't sit through that review, you could never possibly read the Catcher in the Rye, because that's what the whole book is like. Near exactly. However, if you like reading some kid ramble about anything that crosses his mind, go for it. It is, after all, a classic. And apparently controversial. But I didnt really find anything that controversial about it. Still I guess it was actually pretty easy to read, even if it was mostly Holden rambling. But what a weird way to write a book.... Basically he'd been kicked out of college again and left early cause he couldnt stand being there anymore, so he goes into New York and spends a few days there. Really its just about him going to bars trying to pick of chicks and order Scotch and Coke. Then in the end he goes and visits his sister. Really, I'm not quite sure what the whole point of the book really was.....

Oh yeah. And I don't actually think everyone I talked about is a moron and a phony... That's just exactly how Holden would say what I said.

The Catcher in the Rye, by J. D. Salinger
Easy to read but a little bit on the long side for a bunch of ramblings. Still, Holden seems like a very real person you get to know by the end of the book. If you like nonfiction narratives, you might enjoy it, as it reads like one.